you get into bed with a guy you just met and you notice a hole in his sheets and mattress and he goes ‘oh yeah by the way sometimes when i have a bad dream i unsheath my bed knife and stab the pillow in my sleep’ and chuckles a bit shyly and you go okay because now you have more questions than you started with but he also has his hand between your legs so you take your chances and when youre pillowtalking afterwards you ask if maybe you can sleep on the side of the mattress that doesnt have a stab mark and he laughs like youre crazy because 'what if theres an intruder you dont know where i keep my bed knife’ which just from the name seems pretty self explanatory and also you saw it when he was pulling at the sheets earlier but anyway you nod and shrug to yourself because its too late to take a bus and you splurged on a fancy iced coffee yesterday so you cant afford an uber and you really carefully arrange yourself so your face neck and chest aren’t near the (very deep) stab hole and it takes a bit but you do fall asleep only to get woken up by him tossing and turning and whimpering almost like hes having a bad dream and you start calculating your odds of wrestling a knife away from this guy versus just throwing yourself out of bed and maybe waking up the roommate he mentioned didnt like having overnight guests but then you notice hes struggling with the sheath like really just can not get the snap open and its a little funny a little sad so you take pity on the poor guy and unsnap the sheath and he pulls the knife out and plunges it into the pillow where your head just was and the blade slips into the handle and you realise its only a prop knife and it startles you so much you laugh and wake him up and he blinks up at you so blearily when you ask how he ripped a hole through the mattress if his bed knife is a prop knife and slurs 'thats from when i want to fuck the mattress’
nothing sluttier than lighting up a cigarette immediately after an absolutely brutal fight and inhaling deeply before exhaling the smoke with a sigh of relief while still disheveled and covered in blood and coming down from the adrenaline high. you could literally have sex onscreen and it would be less erotic.
and getting someone else to light the cigarette for you because you’re too badly injured/exhausted to do it yourself… that’s gay sex baby
so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone’s blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it’s just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else’s apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch
reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it’s my dash)
i recently found out my blog is being recommended to follow during new user registration and what i thought were bots were literally all minutes-old users
